Procrastination Nation

I am a list maker. I enjoy making list and keeping things organized. My calendar is color coordinated by event (and during school times, by class) so I know exactly when things are due. However, despite all my planning, I am a procrastinator. Not just a little one, I like to toe the line of it's due in a few hours and OH GOD I HAVEN'T STARTED YET.

I like to tell myself that I "work well under pressure" which is the biggest (partial) lie ever. I cave under pressure. I have a melt down, I cry, I flail around, and question every choice I have ever made that got me to the point I am now. Then, once I have cried myself out, and feel like I am empty inside I can begin my paper process.

That is when the glorious work begins, I become Mark Twain (FINE, more like Francine Pascal) the words just flow. This quarter in English the only paper that I didn't do the night that it was due, in one instance making the deadline by four minutes, was ironically the biggest. 11 double spaced, times new roman-ed hell thesis pointing out everything that is wrong with how we currently handle Human Trafficking as an issue. It's easily the best paper I have ever written.

Is it because I started earlier? Yes and no, because I wasn't having a meltdown, and I had time to let the paper set I was able to edit it with a more critical eye versus the rush you get from HOLY MOTHER OF GOD I MADE THE PAGE/WORD REQUIREMENT TIME TO TURN IT IN. As grown up as I felt turning my paper in hours before it was due, I still couldn't get over the feeling of I actually turned something in without a nuclear meltdown. Now about that communications paper that I have due tomorrow....

*I feel it should be noted that I started this entry and it took me 45 minutes to actually start writing, and that communications paper has not been started. Guilty.