The truth about adulthood: things I can't do despite being in my mid-twenties.

As a mid twenty something there are things that I feel I should be doing or know how to do, but can't, or I didn't learn them properly (due to the fact I didn't wanna):

#1 Grilling
(this occurred tonight and inspired said blog post) we had pork chops that needed to be cooked, inspired by our recently glorious weather, I decided to grill. I mean how hard can it be? Turns out it requires a lot more patience that I thought to make things delicious (sorry tester pork chop). The key element I found was to cook low and slow, not scorch and leave raw in the middle, live and learn.

#2 Cutting up my food in a somewhat classy fashion
This one comes and goes, sometimes I can manage, sometimes I feel like I am a five year old with a butter knife. Tonight was a butter knife kind of night. came thisclose to dumping dinner all over my lap, and upon bringing my dishes to the sink I came thisclose to losing a toe to the knife. Sigh.

#3 Cleaning my room in a reasonable amount of time
This has something to do with my aforementioned procrastination issues and a lot to do with my need to look at everything that is in my room. I feel the need to sort and organize and revamp vs just get everything where it belongs.

All of these things combined today made me feel like a slacker or as I like to call it "not a real adult". So in that vein (and because I like giving myself an ego boost) here are three things I can do now that I am not a real adult:

#1 I can open a beer bottle using just a dollar bill.
Or a twenty, just has to be paper money*, and I am a broke college student, lets face it. It's a dollar bill. Related: I can also use a counter or a lighter, and open wine with my shoe. It's all about the classy skills folks

#2 I can stay up all night.
File this one under I have totally ruined my sleep schedule by staying up all night, repeatedly.

#3 I can eat candy that is leftover from Halloween and not die.
Is this marketable? All of the candy is still delicious and to be fair some of it is leftover from Easter. Either way, I didn't die.

I'm going to go drink my landshark beer and watch The Secret Life of the American Teenager, you know since I am not a real adult yet.